It's just me

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

on sat i went baby's hse to make the cards for my juniors. but i wasnt very happy! coz i noe most of my juniors wont be there. it wont be a farewell party when most of my juniors are not there. i didnt wan to go. but i was hoping. praying that they might turn up. but they didnt. and i dun blame them. bcoz in the first place it wasnt their fault. why cant ppl have faith in them? why must they reject her work?! it's so unfair to her. serve them right if she hates band. bcoz she's not what she is but she's what they made her to be. go on andrea, you have my support! and samantha go on too! i'm sure you can do it! dun fred dun cry ya? sometimes it's really very tough but you can do it de! tell yourself you can! you are a strong girl! your letter i really read until i cry! go on clarinet section, you all rocks!
i went out with darling ytd! went to marina bay to prawn fishing with his sis de cell group! dar dar is so good coz he helped to unhooked the prawns. and his sis gave me a surprise! LOL. i was so shocked! thanks for everything! den we went ps to eat sakae. and we couldnt find it in the end it was outside! rawr! had a good good time! thanks baby i love you!
today went to dear's hse to see the slide show! i'm so touched! thanks dear. thanks for the ppt slides. you spent so much time on it! thanks! and thanks wee mum for giving me the hongbao! hehe! anyway just thank you ppl!

#06 love at 1:28 PM

Y

Friday, July 27, 2007

things will get better soon.

a birthday present is supposed to be receive on the day itself. coz if it is not receive on that day it will not be meaningful anymore.

#06 love at 2:03 PM

Y

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

happy birthday danny!

guess i'm just a useless moron.

not of good help to anyone in any way.

school work, friends, and even my family.

he trusted me.

yet, i seem to hurt him so much.

HELL i'm a moron.

people can't be there for me; i can't help it.

WHYWHYWHY when i can be there for others YET NOT?!?!?!

hate myself for being so useless.

quoted this from the subtitle this evening, though the words may be different.

"time is the best healer.

each day, the hurt just gets a little lesser than yesterday's

today's hurt will be lesser than yesterday's.

tomorrow's hurt will be lesser than today's."

hope this is true.

i saw the movie on shimin's blog. it definitely didnt cheer a :( person up!

stevenlim is crazy! whatever...

everything i post doesnt have any meanings cause i'm just being in one of my random mood. today went ws with kailing to buy our beloved juniors presents for the farewell party. i will be joining the main and alumni band for end of year concert! been to xiao yun's blog recently. i agree with how she's feeling. i miss those primary schools day. running around in the morning playing noob catching. sitting in class with pei hsin and xiaoping behind me alvin and alicia in front of me jmy beside me. coz i can whine all i liked! and those hitting our enemies days! i miss them. although i still dun really like them. =/ i just missed primary school lives.

everytime i fall, you made me rise.

#06 love at 1:39 PM

Y

Monday, July 23, 2007

i dunno what to say. life seems so complicated. friends are all about trust but yet my friends dun trust me. everything i said was true. doubt it if you want. i no longer want to wake up in the midnight and think about it anymore. i'm an abandoned kid ytd. most probably today too. went allson hotel for ah yi bao yu. not very bad la only we dunno how to appreciate it. shall upload photos soon. den my cousin, sis and i got abandon at suntec. i was in my heels and i can hardly walk. why do women love heels so much? =/ i walked from suntec to marina square den from there till raffles city den to esplanade. and i couldnt walk anymore so i sat in lib. wth! was waiting for my aunt there and she actually went home without telling us. and we 3 abandoned kids got only 6bucks with us. pathetic lor.

i've been eating instant noodles for the past 3days! i'm dying soon from it.

sometimes when you are sacrificing something, you are not losing it.

you are just passing it onto someone.

happy 13th month darling! :))

#06 love at 8:16 AM

Y

Monday, July 16, 2007

i love the dress! if she dun like it i will definitely kill her! coz it's so nice but ex! LOL. how i wish money can drop down from heaven. that will be great. =O my washing machine is finally working! if not i will not have anything to wear by nxt wk. yay! i will most probably be going to japan again after Os! woots! and the air tickets are paid by jap daddy! hahas! my jap kor is getting married. i cant wait to see nori and miyako! it will be spring when i go. so i'm praying hard that their wedding wont fall before 6nov! coz i'll be still having my exams.

i am truly disgusted with you and myself. to think that i trust you so much and thats what i get. in the first place i shldnt trust you at all. i wont say sorry anymore coz you dun deserve it. you noe who you are. just leave me alone. i feel so cheated!

andand, i am so super duper terribly jealous! i'm in a bad mood now!

#06 love at 6:42 AM

Y

Sunday, July 15, 2007

i going tm with eileen and siling later to buy present for amanda and my cousin!! woots.
anyway alot of things had happened these few days. i'm sorry!
rply to tags:
re shimin: ya i will cheer up de. i will smile more! xDD
re ling: yeah i will smile. thank you!
re cs: okie i noe!
re ben: sorry! dun scold him la.
[ i have my suspicions actually]
i'm off. i miss my darling! ;)

#06 love at 3:40 AM

Y

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

everyone is angry. so all is my fault. i'm sorry. why cant ppl stop talking bad bout each other. if you want just go tell anyone but not me. i dun want to be stuck between ppl. i cant do anything to make you forgive me. just leave me alone. my head and eyes hurt probably bcoz i cried too much. my legs hurt bcoz i stand too much. my tummy hurts bcoz i'm having gastric. serve me right for not eating. i only had bread for breakfast and greentea for recess. but my heart hurt the most. bcoz of what you all said. you scolded me bcoz of what he said. you scold me bcoz of what i said. so it's all my fault. bcoz everything links back to me. so it's me.

i'm sorry everyone i think you all are shocked by me.

my dearest: thanks for being there for me. i noe you will be there behind me even without you all saying.

junqi: all you said was right it will come true as you wish.

nic: it wasnt your fault. you are just trying to cheer me up.

ky: it wasnt your fault too. you didnt noe i was in bad mood so you sprayed the water.

[i dunno whether you all will see it not. but i'm sorry.]

the reason

I'm not a perfect person

There's many things I wish I didn't do

But I continue learning

I never meant to do those things to you

And so, I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you

It's something I must live with everyday

And all the pain I put you through

I wish that I could take it all away

And be the one who catches all your tears

That's why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person

I never meant to do those things to you

And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you

I've found a reason to show

A side of me you didn't know

A reason for all that I do

And the reason is you

#06 love at 8:58 AM

Y

Sunday, July 08, 2007

i hate myself for who i am. i have never hate anyone so much as i hate myself. i'm so disgusted with myself. i'm sorry.

the sharp edge of the razor cuts my skin easily.

i'm numb to the pain,

numb to the blood,

too numb to realise what is happening,

to realise what i'm doing.

one cut follows another,

and another,

till i cant stop.

the razor falls from my hand,

blood drip down my arm,

tears roll down my cheeks.

what have i done?

the good and the bad times we've been through them all.

#06 love at 4:01 PM

Y

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

today i'm feeling so empty inside. really dunno why. mayb i'm feeling tired bahx. have not been slping very well for the past few days. haix. i cant forgive myself for doing that. i'm such a selfish girl. and today i didnt see him during recess and lunch break. i feel that he is avoiding me or mayb is i think too much. but believe me i'm am never going down to help him anymore. it really doesnt serve to be good.

just now went sakae with wendy and val den leonard oso inside. rawr! sian. the waitress like so fast la. cant understand what we talking about. and she never take in what i ate lor. so practically i only need to pay 2bucks. dumb lor. den we went ws to see clothes. and i have fallen in love with grey colour. i noe grey is equals to boring and dull. BUT I LIKE IT! i have bought one grey shirt which is so nice! hahas. i love grey shirts! den went hm with val. we were like talking bout da nan ren. i dun really like them coz they get jealous over small things and very xiao qi. but they will do that is bcoz they love the girls mah. so it's okie. hahas. whatever. den we were saying why pretty girls always get pretty things? luiting and sherly de stead so swt lor. it's so romantic when they stead. omg can faint lor. with all those candles and roses. they pretty mah so obviously they deserve better! hahas. normal girls like us cant ask for much. and val wanted to go france to find her future hubby. hahas. it will be so romantic! but i really dunno why girls love flowers so much. i mean i love them too. but why not let them grow in the sun and share it with everyone instead of putting it at hm when you noe it will wither away one day. i rather let them stay in the sun and enjoy the warm. i'm not selfish. =/

omg! benjamin looks so much like danny! although nobody agrees but i still think it is true. hahas. anything! his voice sounds so much like jj. but i still love my darling the best! hahas.

baby, i love the way you hold me close, the way you look at me. and you for loving me even if im not and never will be the prettiest, hottest, sweetest girl in the world. you gave me the love that i've never had before. you know i love you (: & I'm breathing for the next second I can feel you loving me. when you breathe, when you smile you make me feel stronger than ever cos im crazy about you. we're stranded together. our souls belong to each other and it feels like we're in heaven, baby. <3

#06 love at 9:44 AM

Y

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

i will always rmb this.

but i am feeling liddat now =/

#06 love at 3:25 AM

Y

Monday, July 02, 2007

对不起，我错了。

everytime i see you, i'm alive.

#06 love at 10:20 PM

Y