shimin is so sad. cheer up girl!! it will be over de. i understand how you feel.
sian si le. ytd was so angry. as an assistant your job is to assist me. not just sit there and say this kind of thing oso need assistant to do, so lousy. wth. who do you think you are. this kind of thing not only i do. as an assistant what have you really contribute? sectional you only sit there play by yourself. in the end still say my blowing suck. you noe why. bcoz you get to practise while i have to teach them. do i have the time???

wah!! cs flood me 35 testi sia. thanks. hahas. crazy bodoh. nth better to do right. LOL. sian. later got sectional at 12.30 gotta help all those going sarawak nxt wk. if not later go there den no sound. esp 1st clar. die la. how am i going to collect all those money frm seniors??!! so many. if dun collect later our case will get transfer to mdm zaibon. den i am dead. argh. someone help me!! sian sian.

To have love in your life, remember that you don't need to do anything special to earn it. You simply need to be yourself. You simply need to love yourself. You simply need to accept yourself for being the person you are – regardless of what anyone else thinks about it. This month, people won't hesitate to give you their two cents of what they think about it. Your mission is to not be phased by these wild emotional opinions. The first three weeks will be a test of your will. The last week will be full of tremendous reward.
my horoscope for today. will we really last?

this is my 116 postings. isnt it too qiao. haix. but so what. he dun love me as much anymore. i feel so sads. i slept for less than 4hr. i cant slp. will he ever be mine again? i wonder. haix. fuck up world.
HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY DARLING!
Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?
Saying something and wishing you hadn't?
or saying nothing and wishing you had?
I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.
Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them.
If you do, they might break your heart...
if you don't, you might break theirs.
Have you ever decided not to become a couple because you were so
afraid of losing what you already had with that person?
Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't.
You can't tell your heart what to do. > >>It does it on its own...
when you least suspect it,
or even when you don't want it to.
Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had,
but that other person was too afraid to let you?
Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much...
for fear that the other person does not care as much,
or even at all.
Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear
of rejection was too hard to handle?
We tell lies when we are afraid...
afraid of what we don't know,
afraid of what others will think,
afraid of what will be found out about us.
But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger .
Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump.
Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would
have done, or could have had.
What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say good-bye?
What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there?
What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never
got to tell them how you felt? (even if it is that you don't care anymore)
What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them?
What would you do if you never got the chance to say I am friends
with all of my family and they know I love them?
People live, but people die.

can someone save me? i really dun wan all these to happen. but why cant he understand what i'm trying to say. i noe it's impt to him. but i really cant go. haix. i noe. all i wan is for ppl to love me. but how did you even noe that i neber love them. can you really understand. i need you by my side. please dun ever leave me. dun let me go.

haix. why do sad things keep happening. mr khoo really is going le. he going RI to teach. i guess that would be a good choice right. i am in no mood. came back from seoul garden. but not all 2e2 ppl came for it. thanks to all those who made it so successful. our memories will last in mpr2. every fri when sch finish we still have to stay and study hmt. it isnt what we wan. and it definitely isnt what mr khoo wan. but bcoz of us he is willing to do that. those times of happines and sadness will stay in my heart forever. i guess this is what everyone of us can do de. i will rmb him always. our guardian angel. who protects us whenever ppl comment bout us. although he keep joking with me i can tell that he really is so sad. haix. it's no use to hold him back if he really wan to leave. hope that he will keep his promise. the promise to come back when we got back our Os chi nxt yr. the promise to cm back when we grad nxt yr.
2e2'05 will always rmb you, mr khoo.
we love you!

haix. i manage to survive 2days seeing them. when is all these going to stop? argh! i feel so damn fucking sad. just came back from 'ah ma' hse. not ah ma is my cousin. but still beri close. it;s her bdae. sherene is so cute. a kid is really so innocent. if only i can...

i guess everything is just so suay for me bahx. why did i even let them catch me doing that. so damn fucked up. i need help!! please can someone help me. i keep thinking of those words that are haunting me. you said that it haunts you more. but do you even noe how much it haunts me?

haix. sian. heard that mr khoo is leaving. i dun wan!! he's not a teacher to us. he's our guardian, our friend, our daddy!! i will miss him. i will cry like what we did during 2e2'05 last day. cant he wait for us to grad before he leaves? i love him so much. i am so sian. is she ever going to talk to me again? it's all my fault. such a bitch. whatever. i am such a failure in life, in everything i do. everything i do is all wrong de. what more do i expect. haix. neber ever wanted all these to happened. but they did afterall. if i noe i wouldnt have msg both that guys. if i noe i wouldnt have joined band. if i ever noe...

i am so tired. early in the morning go for bridging then got marching. lucky got bridging, if not i will have to run &do pumpings. hahas. haix. well 4mth and 22days of love was almost destroyed in my own hand. i am such a bitch. how can anyone even make her stead feel so lousy bout himself. that's me. i made him dun understand me at all. all i wan was for some one to love me. what i wan was so easy that i didnt noe it was just in front of me. it's so easy that i expected more than that. now i understand. all i wan was happiness and to be loved. what makes you think he will understand me more than you do? he neber will. i can tell you that. you said you dun wan to hurt me anymore. but did you think bout it. if you let me go, i will get hurt more. i dun wan.
p.s. dun ever let go of me.

i guess he is doubting my love for him. everything i do is wrong. forget it la. fuck up life. i dun wan these pain anymore. can anyone understand? really and truly. i beg you. please realease me from all these pain. i have had enough. can anyone let me go. die in a corner with nobody to care.

damn it!! woke up so early when i'm so tired. kns! i cant slp la!! shit. why cant i slp everyday? why am i so tired ever since the holidays started? i haben even went out &i'm so tired. will there be a day when i will neber ever wake up? friendship, death, betrayal &forgiveness. it's being ringing in my head ever since i read My Best Friend Girl's. shldnt even have started to read the book. inside everyone was so forgiving. even when their best friend betrayed them they forgave them. if only..

i dun wanna go for band &face them. not that i dun like them. but it's just that it shldnt be my responsibilities. why is it always me who is doing all those things? me me me!! i dun wan it anymore. open my hands &let go!! i wanna scream.

sian. so tired. ytd watch the way home den slp so late. today early in the morning my cousin jiu pull me go bowling &gym with her at savanah condopark. omg. i actuall lose 41calories. hahas. i tried all the machine there. so tiring. my legs gonna break. hahas. den we went to bowl. hahas. she was from her sch bowling team obviously she won me. andand, my ball most of the time is go into drain la. hahas. =X

my cousin ytd said that i should not let him. he is obviously younger that me &cher choose me over him. is there no other ways of solving this prob except to scold. i neber scold ppl b4. do they think i good to bully. must they make me scold them? my cousin scolded me. but it isnt my fault mah. i dunno what to do. this is the end.

hahas! ytd ben asked me wan be his mei not. and i agreed. LOL. so i shall not be faithful to only 1kor since he dun even care.

i going back to slp le. so tired.
happy 11th day!! ((:

ahh tummy pain!! fever!! argh. idiot de. lucky felina lent us the umbrella, if not i gonna get a higher fever. thanks felina!!

haix. i wonder what wrong i did. i am obviously suffering from my tummy pain. cant you even see. dun give me that kind of expression. i noe you think that i am bluffing. but i really am having the pain! how can you do that. by doing that, you are indirectly saying, " your blowing really suck!" i noe it does. but do you have to do that. andand, dun everytime call me change seat with her zai ask me i angry is it. nope i aint angry. just sad. i noe your blowing is like wow. but you oso cant do that to me. i noe i am not a good sl. but i tried my best. what more can i do?? you think i dun wan to blow well. you think is so easy? i wanna give up please!

tired from bridging. everyday is the same. bridging &bridging. when will it stop? haix. but luckily, my mother neber took my phone. if not i gonna kill my sis. tmd. sian. today pei baby study again le. ahh. i beri sian leh. nth to blog de. sian sian. i wan slp le. byes!
to those who are sad: cheer up everyone ((:

sad sad &sad. what am i going to do now? today took bus17 go hm. the bus driver smiled at everyone who board the bus. most of the ppl had sour expressions on their faces before they get onto the bus. butbut, once they step up, everyone was smiling. andand, when i got down he said byes. i guess this is the most someone can do for the people he don't know. that's what i need seriously. a smile. all i wanted was for someone to care for me, to understand me. for someone to give me a smile everyday. why is it so difficult. aint humans greedy. sometimes i wish i was a kid, pure &innocent. sometimes i wish i was an adult, mature &free. but now i really wish that i wasnt even born into this world. that's all i ask for now. it isnt too much to ask for. but if i stop, the world will not stop for me. if i stop, nobody will stop for me. i'm soon ggoing to go into depression if this carries on. i dont wanna give up. that's what you tell me. but it just seem that i should.

i just cant do this anymore. everyone &everything. i have been with this prob for one yr alrdy. can i just open my hands &let go? am i being selfish? but they dun even care bout how i feel, why should i care? hold on tight or let go?

ytd went to the lib to borrow 8bks!! so many. i have started reading le. TMD! my sis de phone kena confiscated by my mother, blame herself for using too much. fcuk her la. she dunno go tell my mother what sia. just now my mother say wan confiscate mine too. cb! her phone gone doesnt mean she has to do that to hai me right. i neber ever want to talk to her anymore. shit!
my cousin ytd asked me one question.
what would you do if your best friend broke your heart?
i didnt noe how to ans &asked for her ans.
her ans was : i will still be her friend!
so cool. to forgive &forget.
so you shall not fill my heart with hatred. my heart can only fill one person. &it's definitely not you. so i shall not be angry or upset with what you do. you are forgiven.

today went for eng bridging. how can they do thata. so bad of them to make fun of bokai. bunch of childish guys. den got amaths. lucky ms lee didnt wan us to stay back. actually today going escape with cousin de. but it wasnt open. so sad. went to sakae to eat. but i wasnt felling beri well. haix. how weak can i be. i guess i just lack of slp bahx. i hope so. within 1wk i'm sick twice. a long slp is all i need now. thanks dear for pei-ing me. i'm sorry i couldnt walk to the beach with you. in the end you still must walk back &pei me wait for the bus. i'm so sorry. thanks! andand, dun xin tong okie. i'm fine. i'm like this de. i am always sick. so you cannot always heart pain hor. i dun wan to eat med neither do i wan to go see doc. please dun make me.

haix. sian. i am so tired!! kena chao xing by my sis. she going work only mah. dun need wake me up de right. ytd so late slp. wah really tired leh. sian. my dad fetch her go work le. i neber go leh!! ((: so tired lor. ytd work for 6hr plus. make me so hungry and tired. wah ytd almost die leh. my uncle speed den bang into a bus. lucky mei shi. except that his new car got scratches. den when for jason kor de bbq. hahas. si xian and an shu keep saying they wan play mahjong. too bad jason kor say cannot. LOL. to day is the last day i see baby le. haix. must wait till 22nov den can see le. i will try my best not to see him. i will wait for the day to come. happy studying baby!! must study hard hor!! and dun slp at the lib if not i da pi ku le!!

suddenly i feel sth left me. a part of me. so pain. i suddenly feels he has neber love me before. why do i feel this way? i am scare. but i tell you what. even if eveybody dun like you i'll still cling onto you tight. even if you dun love me anymore i will do too. why are there these kind of ppl in the world. why do they even survive and live in my life? i shldnt have tell you anything. you really scare me. i guess i am just too innocent. there is obviously so many diff types of ppl in these world. you tell me you wont angry and sad bout this whole thing. you dun give a damn right? but i noe. i really noe. it hurts deep down inside. deep till i cant even see. dun ever ask me again why nobody like you i still do. i love you for who you really are. at least you dun hide things. dun ever feel lonely coz i am here for you. it hurts when you told me you should'nt have started liking someone. whats wrong with liking someone? you feel that i wasnt good enough? i am sorry if you think so. i will change if you dun say this kind of things anymore. mayb i really dun understand you enough. but i have been trying really hard. i noe you cant really forget bout this whole thing. but why bother bout the past when you have only just step out if this old life. continue to walk. you definitely will find someone who really understand you. it might neber be me. but i noe you definitely will find someone. there isnt really someone we can trust in this world. please dun feel hurt anymore. you can scold me but dun be angry.

i am so sick!! argh. i vomit everything out. eileen i managed to ren till i reach home den vomit leh. so good right. haix. two days neber eat le. today is my aunt's bdae! and it's oso eileen's aunt bdae!! happy birthday to both of them. i went to buy my aunt de present. so good leh. neber give her present last year. so this yr must give luh! and i guess everyone is a hypocrite sometimes. we cant blame them. mayb i was a hypocrite but i didnt noe. so we shldnt say ppl right eileen? and you better dun say him anymore. if not i will kill you.!! i mean it. yiying scold me leh. not for not going band. but for not treasuring my life. i am scare of hosp now. i have been going in &out so much this yr that i am scare of it. please dun make me go see a doctor anymore. i beg you all. i dun wanna see doc &i dun wanna eat med. i told her. treasure my life so much for what. like as if ppl care. she beri fierce leh. scare me. i promise to treasure my life from now onward!! after i see izaac in sch today again, i have decided that. he is suffering yet he puts on a smile for everyone. he even smile at me. even he wants to treasure his life, why not me? i going write the card le. later going orchard celeb. hope that i wont vomit again.
5.03pm
i am back again. i was watching youtube de movie : 1 litre of tears when i thought of selestine. i forget she need the ss bk to study. i just came back from sending the bk to her hse. hahas. selest is so clever!! mon got maths and comb humans. AND she haben even touch any of them. wish her good luck!! and rmb our promise, 10pts!! if not i gonna lock you outside. you better dun come hm!! x)











i bought for my aunt de!! although abit cheapskate la!!

i dunno what to say. morning went for bridging lor. den first thing jiu shi mr tay cm kajiao me. sian. and while waiting for wendy to finish her phy i saw izaac!! omg he is so thin. i see le wan cry leh. and his hair all drop le. i cant believe it lor. during farewell night he was still playing with us. and while suffering he still cm back for lessons. his cher was teaching him. every teachers who pass by him all stop to chat with him. i really really wish he will get well soon!! went for chem and emaths. sian. can everything come to an end? i a m sick and tired of this life. really i am. everytime i see you, i feel so angry. you ruin my day again. can you not appear in front of me. haix. waited fir ms lee for dunno how mamy minutes sia. actuaal is 11.30 can go le but bcoz i neber go for her lessons so must stay. sian. i showed her the mc she still scold me sia. so great. now everytime i open my mouth sth vulgur will come out. thats what you all out there are forcing me to do. you made me scream out those words. tmd! ): i lazy to blog le la. LOL. going to call someone i neber see before neber even heard the voice before. isnt it weird.
thirty things a girl would die to getfroma guy..
1-touch her waist
2-talk to her
3-share secrets
4-give her your jacket
5-kiss her slowly
6-hug her
7-hold her
8-laugh with her
9-invite her somewhere
10-let her be with you when your with your friends
11-smile with her
12-take pics with her
13-pull her onto your lap
14-when she says she loves you more, deny it.fight back
15-when her friends say i love her more than you,deny it. fight back and hug her tight so she cant get to her friends. it makes her feel loved.
16-always hug her and say i love you when you see her.
17-kiss her unexpectedly
18-hug her from behind around the waist
19-tell her she beautiful not sexy!
20-tell her the way you feel about her!
21-kiss her on the lips
22- DONT ask her to buy you stuff. you buyHER stuff
23-trust her , no matter wad .
24-make her feel loved
25-buy her stuff. like small things can still help
26-don't lie to her
27-dont cheat on her
28-take her anywhere she wants
29-txt messege her in the morning and tell her have a good day at school, and how much you miss her
30-be there for her when ever she needsyou, &even though she doesn't need you just be there so she'll know that she can always count onyou
thats so cool. my cousin sent me de. LOL.((:

i am not going to think bout that incident anymore. i finally understand whats happening le. i a not going to let you ruin my day again. you ruin my day ytd and today. i feel so angry whenever i think he still treat you as a friend. to think you do that to him. backstabber. hypocrite!!
sujatha, i noe how to answer the question you asked me ytd le.
su: why so many ppl dun like him you still love him?
my ans is that i love him for who he is. he's caring and friendly. at least not like someone. -.-

WEE THEORY BOOK:
never say die before you try.
pick yourself up when you fall.
every fall shall be a stepping stone.
we are the ones to create.
when there's will, there's always hope.
if you want, you will.
having a little confidencce does not hurt.
try as you might, it does not cost you a penny.
keep trying, the river will not stop flowing for you.
people cant always be perfect, forgive the imperfectness &learn to appreciate the weaker part of it.
if you can forget those unhappy things, you are a truely happy person.
i will try and memorise everything. i promise. :D

HYPOCRITE!! why do you even live in this world. how could you do that??! if you really dun like him just say la. how could you even made him think that you are his best friend? you suck. you seriously do. how i hope what i heard was wrong. everyone can hate him. but how could you?? TMD! you spoil the image of what i think of you. how could i even think that you are cute. hypocrite is what you are now everytime i look at you. i hate you. dun you even feel bad bout it. he's your friend leh! i really wonder why are you liddat. cb!!

eileen drank so much of my mogu mogu! wanna kill her. went to sch at 8 for eng den went for emaths. sian. den went out for lunch with wendy, su &hongyen. how i wish what i heard from her is wrong. and i came back for ss. aint i guai? and i waited for eileen tay for 5o min!! so good right? and on the bus what happen huh eileen?? do you need to shout so loud so that he noe that his friend is a hypocrite. return me my mogu mogu!!