i am damn pissed off with everything that happened yesterday. i went orchard with cousin , aunt and sister. once i step out of the station, the first scene i was was a guy unzipping his pants and scratching his private part! disgusting can. walk and scratch. ****ing disgusting. then we went to far east. sian. walked round the whole place. looking for shoe and bags. and i am so pissed off. argh. biased! all of them are bias. i finally found a pair of shoe that i like and i am not supposed to buy. even my sister bought already. and bag. school is going to reopen soon and i have not buy a bag yet. might as well dont go. everything my sister want buy is can. when i went home my mother ask why daddy neber give me money buy bag i feel like saying BECAUSE ALL OF YOU ARE BIASED PEOPLE! but i managed not to say it. @$#23@$23%$^4! i said i have not found something i like. liar! do they even treat me like a family? do i even exist? you call this a family? sometimes i rather stay at home and rot to death. those things i dont want to do i am force to do. is this a home? it is rather like a hotel. for me to sleep at night. i dont want to care anymore. let go of everything.

are we growing further apart now? how am i supposed to go out with you? wth. if they dont care about me then can totally dont care not. then i wont go apart fom him le.
what kenneth and siling told me was right. never compart with other people. it will be neber-ending.

kenneth says:
i dont compare our relatioship to other ppls.
kenneth says:
cos everyone is different de mah. so must treat ours differently.
kenneth says:
and it helps that i trust her lots and lots and lots
kenneth says:
but shi ying wei siling very patient with me.
kenneth says:
mabye u have to be a little bit mroe patient with him bah.
kenneth says:
just slowly slowly talk to him
kenneth says:
you must understand hor, guys very very protective de.
kenneth says:
so you must keep re-assuring him also.
kenneth says:
can just encourage you to jiayou lohs.
kenneth says:
must jian chi okies !
kenneth says:
if you believe the love is there. just be more patient.
kenneth says:
you both can make it one !

can everything really work out? i seriously hope so. because i know i still love you. i still love you the way i used to. has messaging become meaningless? if the love is still there it should not be. i promise to hold on to you until you let go of me. i will keep my promises.

today went ah xian's hse to celeb christmas. sian can. sat there watch LOVE ACTUALLY with him. rawr! so nice leh. hahas. his name same as me worx. everyone in the family call me ah xian. i think coz my granny dunno how to pronounce ah xuan bahx. hahas. and from young me and him bcm 'couple' le. LOL. stupid. so lame lor. sian sian. after that went orchard. but coz i too lazy den didnt went out. just sat in the car drive 1round. LOL. so lame.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

today went to hand in newspaper article. on the way we kept talking bout JOE CHENG!! he is so shuai! woots. hahas. after we hand in den we saw mr khoo! eileen gave the chocolate i gave her to mr khoo. rawr! hahas. but it's okie. den we went tm to buy shoe for her ah ma and my aunt. LOL. hope both of them like their shoe. hahas. liang shan bo yu zhu yin tai! the song so nice can. i wan buy the disc. but cant find. rawr!
wo ai ni ni shi wo de romeo
wo yuan yi bian cheng ni de zhu yin tai
xin fu de mei yi tian
lang man de mei yi ye
ba ai bu fang kai

it's raining. i am not going work today. haahs. i am feeling kind of nervous. how how. scared leh. hope it will go fine. sian. these few days like alot ppl beri sad leh.
cs &kor cheer up!
everything will be fine.
christmas is coming. woots! ((:

i am up early again. earlier den i noe. sian. i am supposed to work. rawr! even on christmas eve!! argh. sian sian. i going to do maths le. hahas. and after kl cm back from europe jiu go do geog proj. hahas. so guai. plan hao hao le. LOL. today i must buy sth! dun care le. see what nice jiu buy liao. hahas. one1 litres of tears! so nice. andand i still thinking of the necklace. haahs. as time go by i will forget bout it de. ((:

woots. ytd bought so many things. i finally bought a jeans skirt le. hhahas. butbut, sadly my sis bought the dream skirt that i have been wanting to buy. stupid de. and i am so charitable. wahaha. i bought a heart necklace which is supposed to be 88bucks. but bcoz of charity Goldheart sold it at 5bucks. hahas. so nice! today still go buy another 5 leh. am i good? but is help my aunt buy de la. hahas. and i am BROKE! seriously broke. we bought something for our cousins leh. hahas. so good right. actually is wan buy the book Chicken Soup. i told my cousin and she tot i wan buy chicken soup for her butt! LOL. coz she just had an operation. she's crazy! i seriously dunno what to buy leh. it seems so hard. i will try to buy sth today de. i saw the necklace!! been looking for it for so so long. although it's only 15bucks but i bu she de. coz no money le mah. nvm la. it's just a necklace. forget bout it.

hahas. so tired. pissed off with those bian tais. now everytime some guys cm near me i will siam lor. idiotic. make me look like a freak. yes!! after this wk jiu dun wan go work le. so so tiring. LOL. sian. still got alot alot hmwk. wah! emaths &amaths add up dunno got how many thousands of questions. i will start doing on monday! i promise. hahs. i going back to slp le. tired.

woots!! everything will be fine afterall. sometimes i really dunno how to express my feelings. but i really need you to know them. i really dunno how to express them. somehow those expressions cm out the wrong way. when i'm angry i tend to vent it on you. i'm sorry.
so sian!! i'm so so tired. i clean the glass cupboard till muscle ache le la. ahh!! crazy de. work till this wk jiu dun work le. yayy!! hahas. i got 11 bites leh!! stupid mosquitoes!! RAWR!
thanks eileen!! for everything you did. we will work hard together and make mr khoo proud de!! ((:
my cousin had an operation. was so worried can. suddenly say need operation.
get well soon, jiejie!!

tired la. ytd dunno why slp le suddenly wake up at 4plus. hahas. sian sian. but christmas is coming!! woots. butbut i think i have to work. idiotic!! argh.
thur gathering was fine i guessed. although it was drizzling, most of the ppl turned up. mr khoo must be hoping that everyone can turned up. we met in the memoriable mpr2. it's okie. after that day we will neber step into it anymore. coz we are going to have lessons at other place. mr khoo you will survive at the other sch de. hahas. but you must be proud of us okie. neber forget us. and must tell the other kids that you used to teach a bunch of cute kids. :D let them be jealous of your love for us. hahas. i'm really proud to have you as my teacher. i really am. you are always there for us no matter what happens. dun feel regret that you didnt get to know me enough. coz you alrdy do. you know me more than any other teachers do. i have kept all the things you gave us. the letter you wrote, the compo you typed, the swan you gave us for the Os chi, the powerpt slide and the glass bottle with saga seeds!! i have kept it till now and i will keep it forever. those chocolates mooncakes and lollipops are in my stomach. it will remind me of you forever everytime i eat them. i will neber forget what you taught us all these yrs. yao zhi ai, zhi liu, zhi xue. we will always give you encouragement and support.good luck to you! we always love you. 邱老师, 你永远是我最好的老师!

sian. ytd have duch a fun time. hahas. we hid in the fitting room take alot pics. LOL. crazy ppl doing crazy things. sian. tmr going to meet mr khoo. i guess all those tears that had been storing up in me is damn going to flow down. dun wan mr khoo to see me crying. coz it will make him more sad. if only he can stay. everything will be different. can you stay? i promise to be good if you stay. i noe all these is just what i hope. coz he's going to leave anyway. i'm so sorry to let a good teacher leave like this. there will only be memories left of us after you'd gone. memories of mpr2. after you are gone, our lessons in mpr2 will not be the same anymore. without you everything will be different. there wont be anyone to joke with me anymore. after you are gone, i dun even wan to step into mpr2. coz there are so much of our memories there.
i love you, mr khoo!!
i thank you for everything you do for us.
the cranes, the letter.
everything.
happy 6th day!!

sian. got work later. i just woke up. holidays are so sian. i seem to be lacking of slp. so tired. but later i am going out with eileen, siling and amanda!! hahas. nth to blog bout. all those things that are happening aint what i wish for. haix.

where are you christmas?
why cant i find you?
why have you gone away?
my world is changing
i'm rearranging
does that mean christmas change too?

where are you christmas?
do you remember?
the girl you used to know?
you and i are so carefree
the world is easy
does christmas change or just me?