i am damn pissed off with everything that happened yesterday. i went orchard with cousin , aunt and sister. once i step out of the station, the first scene i was was a guy unzipping his pants and scratching his private part! disgusting can. walk and scratch. ****ing disgusting. then we went to far east. sian. walked round the whole place. looking for shoe and bags. and i am so pissed off. argh. biased! all of them are bias. i finally found a pair of shoe that i like and i am not supposed to buy. even my sister bought already. and bag. school is going to reopen soon and i have not buy a bag yet. might as well dont go. everything my sister want buy is can. when i went home my mother ask why daddy neber give me money buy bag i feel like saying BECAUSE ALL OF YOU ARE BIASED PEOPLE! but i managed not to say it. @$#23@$23%$^4! i said i have not found something i like. liar! do they even treat me like a family? do i even exist? you call this a family? sometimes i rather stay at home and rot to death. those things i dont want to do i am force to do. is this a home? it is rather like a hotel. for me to sleep at night. i dont want to care anymore. let go of everything.

are we growing further apart now? how am i supposed to go out with you? wth. if they dont care about me then can totally dont care not. then i wont go apart fom him le.
what kenneth and siling told me was right. never compart with other people. it will be neber-ending.

kenneth says:
i dont compare our relatioship to other ppls.
kenneth says:
cos everyone is different de mah. so must treat ours differently.
kenneth says:
and it helps that i trust her lots and lots and lots
kenneth says:
but shi ying wei siling very patient with me.
kenneth says:
mabye u have to be a little bit mroe patient with him bah.
kenneth says:
just slowly slowly talk to him
kenneth says:
you must understand hor, guys very very protective de.
kenneth says:
so you must keep re-assuring him also.
kenneth says:
can just encourage you to jiayou lohs.
kenneth says:
must jian chi okies !
kenneth says:
if you believe the love is there. just be more patient.
kenneth says:
you both can make it one !

can everything really work out? i seriously hope so. because i know i still love you. i still love you the way i used to. has messaging become meaningless? if the love is still there it should not be. i promise to hold on to you until you let go of me. i will keep my promises.